MLS Smackdown TM

I think it's safe to say that I am sick of some of the behavior I've seen in MLS not to mention some things that guys have been getting away with for years. Considering I support D.C. first and foremost in the League it's been difficult at best trying to figure out just how to avoid cheering for Dema Kovelenko when he was with United and now with Ben Olsen having turned into one of the chirpiest and most annoying players around. I blame Nottingham Forest for blowing up his ankles, Ben for not being smart enough to get out of that situation and Olsen again for changing his game so much so to the point of being a general nuisance, hat-tricks against New York not withstanding. The Kovalenko saga has been talked about elsewhere with much more flavorful vitriol than I ever could come up with.

Then there's Daniel Hernandez, he of the generally salty disposition, poorly timed tackle and general inability to take back in equal measure that which he enjoys handing out. As a player, he's (as well as Joe Franchino and Rusty Pierce) always come off to me as someone who wanted to be Pablo Mastroeni but lacked the skills. This resulted in clumsy, ill-tempered challenges and generally being a not fun guy to be around.

Next up, my favorite of favoritest bad guys in all of MLS. You know him, you love to hate him... Tyrone Marshall. He may be arguably the most annoying of the "black hats" in this League who always manages to have a handful of fouls before a ball is even kicked. He eggs on opposing fans wherever he goes so much so that sometimes I really wonder if he thinks he's Kurt Angle in disguise or something. If there's ever been one player in the League that I've felt should start every match with an automatic yellow card it's him. He has Carlos Ruiz's annoyance factor, Dema's penchant for injuring people, Ben Olsen's chirpiness and Daniel Hernandez's villainous streak. You could argue that he is MLS's perfect villain and he's just done it again for a number of fans who hoped to see Kenny Cooper play in Copa America in a few weeks.

Speaking of which, what's in the water in Dallas that always leads players like this to do bodily harm to FCD's promising offensive talent?

Still, with these kind of guys running around in this league and MLS's penchant for promotion (but not the relegation variety) I say we come up with the perfect teaser event for this year's MLS Cup or All-Star Game: the Fatal Field Player Four-Way featuring Dema, Daniel, Ben and Tyrone going at it on PPV for the diehard MLS fans to see which one of these players would survive or alternatively hope for all four to explode into cloud of dust particles. There's only one guy I can think of to officiate this thing, too: Matt Reis. While we're at it, someone get Ray Hudson on the phone and convince him to call it. This is gonna be big! I can feel it!

Blanco's going to have a lot to live up to this summer.

PS You know you've made it as a league when there's at least a handful of players everyone can agree on to despise. MLS Fever, CATCH IT!